Sad times

I couldn't think of an appropriate title for this post, sad times doesn't even come close.

As I have said before, my Mum was diagnosed with Oesophageal cancer on the 23rd December last year, she fought bravely for 11 months, went though huge surgery in March, was given the all clear in May then on the 1st August found out the cancer was back and now terminal. Sadly she died on the 28th November. We had her funeral yesterday.

She spent her final 17 days in the Marie Curie Hospice where we celebrated my new nephew's baptism then Christmas on the 21st November. After seeing this photo Mum decided that Christmas jumpers should be worn for her funeral. She got her wish , I doubt there has ever been as jolly a looking funeral party! 200+ people came to the church for the celebration of her life which is a testament to how involved she was in so many different aspects of life.

My life now has to get back to some kind of normal. I have been caring for Mum during the week since August so have not had much time for anything sewing or crafty. That will now change as I actively look for distractions...

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Why I don't have a Bucket List

The House of Pinheiro Sew Photo Hop theme today is Bucket List.

I don't have one and here is why:

We had some bad news 10 days ago, the cancer that Mum had surgery to cure is back. Unfortunately this means that there is little that can be done, oesophageal cancer is notoriously hard to treat, so tomorrow we see the oncologist to see if there are palliative chemo options available.

Life has changed so hugely in the last ten days yet not changed much at all. The flowers still bloom, the weeds still grow, the children still bicker but my outlook on life has changed. I am a planner and a worrier, always have been, but I am going to change that. I have seen how life can be turned upside down in an instant so I refuse to waste any more precious moments from all my todays worrying and making big plans for tomorrows that may never come.

Obviously a totally unplanned life would be chaos, normal planning will all still happen, but as for big plans, whether they are big sewing projects or places I want to visit, I will see where life takes me. I want to enjoy every day of the journey as much as possible. My Mum was thinking about what she would really really like to do in the time remaining and all that is on her list is to spend as much time as possible with her friends and family. It is not places or things or projects that it boils down to, it is the love of and from others.

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